on deaths

i know how it feels to lose a parent. it's hard...the hardest part is saying the last goodbye to them, and when the casket is closed and then they are brought down 6 ft. under ... coz physically you won't see them anymore ... that's when it'll start dawning on you that ... HE'S GONE!
once again, i was a witness to a dear (extended) family who lost their mom ... i can't stand it when people close to my heart grieves, it hurts me so much, i can feel their pain, i can't stand it, it seems like tears aren't enough.
i will always remember what fr. arlo said during the last time he said mass during a friend's wake, he said (sort of) "it's hard to lose a parent, it's hard to be alone. but you know what, at the end of the day, there is only you and God. yes we have friends and families to be with us, and we should cherish them, love them, but you should also learn to be alone and live with God. just as when we die, we go back to our creator." fr. arlo, i like it when he shares his wisdom, he makes it so easy to understand complex things ... you will never forget it, even as you leave the church. :)
and you know what, a HUG means a lot to a bereaved family ... it's a powerful source of emotional support ...
and if there's one thing i regret when my dad died that i wasn't able to do .. it's that i wasn't able to kiss him goodbye before he was brought down 6 ft ... i guess i was crying sooo much, i wasn't able to ask my sis or bros to do it for me ...

holy week 09

i didn't go out this holy week -- thu to sunday that is. i could have gone with a few friends to a trip up north, or i could have attended all church services -- which i have been doing all my life -- but this time, i decided to just stay at home and be with my nephews and my mom, plus my bro-in-law just lost his mom, so we had to go to the wake anyways and attend to their kids whom they left at home (while they're at the funeral parlor).

anyways, i didn't feel restless at all being at home all 4-days, in fact, it was a well-spent family time ... thursday we were at the hospital to visit my bro-in-law's mom who was comatose then, friday she expired and joined our creator. saturday, we went to the wake and sunday, it was my baptism of fire with the M.A. choir, who sings at the LSGH chapel every 4th sunday of the month, and special occasions, such as this easter sunday. it was a nice feeling to be singing with a full choir again, and (sort of) orchestra, and sing with people with really good voices -- naman eh mga taga UPCC at kun anu anu pang premyadong choirs eh! :) ... masipag sila magpractice kahit once a month, and kumpleto boses nila! haha ... i wish that SHS will get back on track again though ... iba pa din pag sa mas at home ka kumakanta eh. :) ... but will get used to singing with them, a few more sundays probably ... but thanks to my sis and kuya, who helped me become part of this new choir.

so staying at home during holy week wasn't bad after all, it was such a relaxing 4-day holiday ... it was truly a happy and blessed easter! ;)